Original Article Here: https://careynieuwhof.com/the-early-warning-signs-of-a-hard-heart/
The longer I live & serve, the more intentional I have to be at keeping my heart open and fully alive. To guard against my heart becoming hard. Hardness of heart is a condition that people on the other side of God develop. Pharaoh had it. Israel did on occasion. And the Pharisees specialized in it. Not exactly great company if you ask me. So, it’s a little bit vulnerable to admit you struggle with it. But I do. Like a physician who sees illness or tragedy every day, you develop a way of dealing with the pain. And some of that’s healthy. But if I don’t monitor things carefully, I can move into full seasons where I don’t feel much of anything at all. My heart can grow hard.
What are some early warning signs of a hard heart?
- You don’t really celebrate and you don’t really cry. Well, you might on the outside, but in reality, you don’t feel it.
- You stop genuinely caring. Enough said.
- So much of what’s supposed to be meaningful feels mechanical. From your personal friendships to your family to work, the feeling’s gone.
- Passion is hard to come by. For anything.
- You no longer believe the best about people. Even when you meet someone, you’re thinking about what’s going to go wrong, not what’s going to go right.
How does it happen? Here are a few ways:
You focus on patterns, not people. You can become cynical when you realize the people who say they want to change (and at first you believe them), don’t change. When I become fixated on the patterns, not the people beneath them, my heart grows hard. Patterns are discouraging. People aren’t.
You over-protect a broken heart. People promise and don’t deliver. You trusted someone and your trust was misplaced. How you respond is so critical. It’s easy to shield yourself from people. It’s easy to stop trusting, stop loving, stop believing. But that would be a mistake. It kills your heart.
You stop looking for what’s good in people and situations. Because life has its disappointments, and people are still people even after they become Christians (it’s amazing how that happens), it’s easy to focus on personal and organization shortcomings. If you keep that up, it can be all you focus on.
You accept a harder heart as a new normal. A hardened heart isn’t inevitable, but it does take intentional effort to guard against one. When you feel your heart becoming hard, you need to take action and fight against it. If you work at it, your heart can stay supple. When you pick away at the callous, something wonderful God created still beats underneath. And you enter a new season of life wiser, but very much fully alive.
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我活得越长、服侍得越久，我就得越努力地尽力让自己的心灵开放、充满活力；而不是使其刚硬。刚硬的心灵是不信神的人才有的。法老有刚硬的心。以色列人有时也有。法利赛人更就以其刚硬的心而出名了。这些人都不是我们想与之为伍的。所以，有时候要我们承认我们在这上面有挣扎是一件很不容易的事：好像承认它就会让我们显得软弱。但是我承认我确实有挣扎。就像一个医生，天天在病房里目睹疾病和悲剧，他自然而然地找到一种对付这种伤痛的方式。有时候这是对的、健康的。但是如果我不小心翼翼地检讨、省察，我会很容易地进入一种什么都感觉不到的状态。我的心灵就会变得越来越刚硬。
刚硬的心灵是早期警示征兆是什么呢？
- 你不喜悦欢呼，也不真正哭泣。你可能站在外围观望，但却无法真正感受。
- 你什么也不在乎了。就是这么简单。
- 原先对于你来说十分有意义的事情现在都只是机械地重复了。无论是友谊、家庭、还是工作，原先的感觉都已经不在了。
- 你对任何事情都难以产生激情。
- 你不再相信别人的最好一面。当你与人初次会面的时候，你所想的只是可能会出错的地方，而不是变好的地方。
怎么会这样呢？有如下原因：
你的聚焦点不在于人，而在于模式。你变得愤世嫉俗，因为你相信那些口称要改变的人，而他们却并不悔改。当我的把自己的关注点聚焦在这些行为模式上，而不是在模式之下的人的时候，我的心灵就变得刚硬了。模式确实会让人感到沮丧，但人却不会。
你太想保护一颗受伤的心了。人们喜欢承诺，却不常常履行他们的诺言。你信任某人，但你的信任却被辜负。你如何回应呢？这很重要。我们很容易就把自己保护起来、免受人的伤害。我们很容易就不再信赖别人、不再爱、不再相信。这是错误的。如果一直这样做，我们的心就死了。
我们不再积极寻找人和事中好的一面。生活常常给我们带来失望。人们成为基督徒后，本质上还是人。真神奇，不是吗？我们常常只看到个人和机构里的缺点。如果我们一直这样做，我们的心就一直拘泥于缺点。
你渐渐接受一颗刚硬的心成为你新常态。一颗刚硬的心并非不可避免，但它确实需要我们刻意、努力地去防范。当你感到你的心肠变得刚硬，你需要采取行动、与之斗争。如果你努力，你可以使你的心灵保持柔软。当你把冷酷的部分拣掉，底下便是神创造的美好。你就进入了一个更有智慧、更充满生命力的新季节。
